The Hows of Happiness

1. Find your balance
Psychologists generally describe happiness as a sense of well-being or satisfaction with your life. They say there is fun without meaning to it, like foot massages and meaning without fun, like eating in early mornings and happiness comes from some combination of this two. If you choose fun without meaning, you will likely to feel empty inside and if you often focus solely on lofty goals, you could wind up depleted and resentful.

2. Take a pass on perfection
When surveyed in the 1970's, most women reported being happier than men. Today, the opposite is true. One theory is that, over the past few decades, females have gone from holding one job(running the house) to two jobs(working full-time plus handling housework). And a fast way to trigger unhappiness is bigger to-do-lists-and not to mention mounting pressure for women who want to do it all.
Striving for constant contentment is equally unrealistic. If you think you should feel happy nearly all the time, it's going to make you miserable. So, better manage your expectations.

3. Don't try to buy happiness
Sure, money helps especially if you start out poor and then do better. But nationwide published last year in the US Social Indicators Research found that those who pursued possessions were less satisfied with their friendships, families, jobs or even their health than those who were less materialistic.

4. Switch gears
A study at the University of Missouri-Columbia tracked hundreds of subjects who experiment a change in their circumstances (e.g. moving to a new place)and in their activities (e.g. pursuing a new hobby). A few months later, those who changed their activities reported more gains in well-being. One possible reason:A drift in circumstances often involves a onetime event which can fade into the background of our lives. Meanwhile, exploring a new interest is inherently entertaining and may lead you to discover other activities overtime.

5. Lose yourself in the moment
If you are in a bad mood, try to find your "rhythm or flow". The word describes a "state of effortless concentration and enjoyment. Focus on increasing one's joys and strengths. What delivers the most happiness: whatever activity energizes you and you feel like time is flying by.

6. Develop an attitude of gratitude
One way to feel happiness is to recognize good things when they happen. If you have trouble counting your blessings try keeping a gratitude journal. Survival studies show that people who record what they appreciate, experience greater happiness, less anxiety and even better sleep.

7. Share the love
Japanese study found that contented people's happy experiences most often involved connecting with someone. "One hundred percent of the very happy people had good relationships' according to the earlier study by positive-psychology researchers.
In National Opinion Research center toll released last year in US, 42 percent of the marrieds reported being very happy compared with only 19 percent of the singles. Experts theorize that people benefit from having reliable emotional partner in their life.
The fastest way to improve your relationships; Set aside inviolable time for them.

8. Help yourself by helping others
Helping others makes us feel capable and full of purpose and it lets us quit stressing all our own problems for a while.

9. Choose to choose less
Having a lot of options isn't always so great, say Barry Schwartz, author of the Paradox of Choice. In a 2006 study of job seekers, he found that "maximizers"(those who searched until they found the best position) were less happy with their choices than "satisfiers" (those who took the first good ones).
Too much choices can cause anxiety and head people to blame themselves if their decisions don't turn out as well as they expected.

10. Introduce your body to your mind
In several experiments, subjects instructed to visibly express their reactions while watching a funny movie reported greater pleasure than their more subdued counterparts: so get your body involved when you are feeling good.

11. Be more forgiving
a conciliatory attitude can help counteract feelings of depressions, powerlessness and anxiety about future hurts.
So how do you let go of anger and resentment towards others? Take into account the stresses that contributed to the worry doer's behavior, remember his positive trait, and consider requesting an apology. And if your motivation starts to falter, keep in mind that forgiving is really a gift you give yourself.

12. Pick out the positives
Some people are able to make the best out from things that happen-and that is the key to happiness. One way to do this is to re frame your thoughts. For example, instead of dreading to visit a loved one who is sick, start to see them to connect and care for them.

A Poem by Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build it anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world your best, and it may never be enough; Give the world your best anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

Develop your Friendliness

The man or woman with a friendly personality always has an advantage over the person with a dead-pan poker face and an indifferent attitude. In social life, in public life, or in modern business, it is significant that friendliness pays the biggest dividends. No matter what service you need, no matter what product you want, no matter what your goal in life, isn't it true that you always lean toward the individual with the smiling, friendly personality?

Friendliness leads to friendship, and friendship is the number one success factor in life. How many real friends have you? Can you count them on the fingers of one hand, or both hands? If you can equal that number, or go beyond it, you are fortunate indeed.

Many people mistake acquaintances for real friends. While acquaintances are picked up here and there, true friendships are developed over the years.

As Confucius once wrote:
"There are 3 friendships which are advantageous and 3 which are injurious. Friendship with the upright; friendship with the sincere; friendship with the man of much observation: these are advantageous. Friendship with the man of specious airs; friendship with the insinuatingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued: these are injurious."

Let us not kid ourselves about our friends. Along side of friendliness is the rare
virtue of thoughtfulness. A man with a friendly personality is apt to be a thoughtful individual as well, the two qualities seem to go hand in hand.

There are really two kinds of friends. First, is the casual type;the fair-weather friend-who is really nothing more than a mere acquaintance. Second, is the solid, constructive type of friend-who gives back what you put into him.

GOODWILL

Good will is of many kinds. There is the good will that flows from one employee to another in the same department. The good will that ripens into social friendship, is a direct outcome of a warmhearted personality. Good will in business is a priceless asset; sometimes it is the balance sheet at a value of one dollar. In may other instances, it is directly responsible for whatever customer appreciation, sales volume and financial success the business enjoys.

One of the important attributes stemming from the good will that results from good human relations is the excellent character of co-operation we get from one employee and associates in business. This kind of good will is easily translated into substantial financial value---an increment that we cannot obtain other way.

Regardless of the character of good will, it stems inevitably from your personality. We have all encountered the type of personality unpleasantness that transforms good will into ill will. How refreshing it is to do business or enjoy social contacts with a personality that radiates courtesy, kindliness, and humanness! Do we ever think to analyze the reasons for the difference between the two, or to count the cost? Most important of all, do we ever identify ourselves with the river of such gifts, good or bad?