The Hows of Happiness

1. Find your balance
Psychologists generally describe happiness as a sense of well-being or satisfaction with your life. They say there is fun without meaning to it, like foot massages and meaning without fun, like eating in early mornings and happiness comes from some combination of this two. If you choose fun without meaning, you will likely to feel empty inside and if you often focus solely on lofty goals, you could wind up depleted and resentful.

2. Take a pass on perfection
When surveyed in the 1970's, most women reported being happier than men. Today, the opposite is true. One theory is that, over the past few decades, females have gone from holding one job(running the house) to two jobs(working full-time plus handling housework). And a fast way to trigger unhappiness is bigger to-do-lists-and not to mention mounting pressure for women who want to do it all.
Striving for constant contentment is equally unrealistic. If you think you should feel happy nearly all the time, it's going to make you miserable. So, better manage your expectations.

3. Don't try to buy happiness
Sure, money helps especially if you start out poor and then do better. But nationwide published last year in the US Social Indicators Research found that those who pursued possessions were less satisfied with their friendships, families, jobs or even their health than those who were less materialistic.

4. Switch gears
A study at the University of Missouri-Columbia tracked hundreds of subjects who experiment a change in their circumstances (e.g. moving to a new place)and in their activities (e.g. pursuing a new hobby). A few months later, those who changed their activities reported more gains in well-being. One possible reason:A drift in circumstances often involves a onetime event which can fade into the background of our lives. Meanwhile, exploring a new interest is inherently entertaining and may lead you to discover other activities overtime.

5. Lose yourself in the moment
If you are in a bad mood, try to find your "rhythm or flow". The word describes a "state of effortless concentration and enjoyment. Focus on increasing one's joys and strengths. What delivers the most happiness: whatever activity energizes you and you feel like time is flying by.

6. Develop an attitude of gratitude
One way to feel happiness is to recognize good things when they happen. If you have trouble counting your blessings try keeping a gratitude journal. Survival studies show that people who record what they appreciate, experience greater happiness, less anxiety and even better sleep.

7. Share the love
Japanese study found that contented people's happy experiences most often involved connecting with someone. "One hundred percent of the very happy people had good relationships' according to the earlier study by positive-psychology researchers.
In National Opinion Research center toll released last year in US, 42 percent of the marrieds reported being very happy compared with only 19 percent of the singles. Experts theorize that people benefit from having reliable emotional partner in their life.
The fastest way to improve your relationships; Set aside inviolable time for them.

8. Help yourself by helping others
Helping others makes us feel capable and full of purpose and it lets us quit stressing all our own problems for a while.

9. Choose to choose less
Having a lot of options isn't always so great, say Barry Schwartz, author of the Paradox of Choice. In a 2006 study of job seekers, he found that "maximizers"(those who searched until they found the best position) were less happy with their choices than "satisfiers" (those who took the first good ones).
Too much choices can cause anxiety and head people to blame themselves if their decisions don't turn out as well as they expected.

10. Introduce your body to your mind
In several experiments, subjects instructed to visibly express their reactions while watching a funny movie reported greater pleasure than their more subdued counterparts: so get your body involved when you are feeling good.

11. Be more forgiving
a conciliatory attitude can help counteract feelings of depressions, powerlessness and anxiety about future hurts.
So how do you let go of anger and resentment towards others? Take into account the stresses that contributed to the worry doer's behavior, remember his positive trait, and consider requesting an apology. And if your motivation starts to falter, keep in mind that forgiving is really a gift you give yourself.

12. Pick out the positives
Some people are able to make the best out from things that happen-and that is the key to happiness. One way to do this is to re frame your thoughts. For example, instead of dreading to visit a loved one who is sick, start to see them to connect and care for them.